Bear Grylls Quotes Translated

Over the years big Bear has had a lot of stick for not really doing any of his own “stunts” as it were. But he clearly does. For instance here we have a lovely picture of Mr Grylls taking a full bite out of a – delicious and naturally high in iron – reindeer heart and it’s safe to say he’s clearly loving it! Bear-Gylls-Eating-a-Reindeer-HeartThere is no denying that Bear is a crazy individual, you only have to look at his home on a remote island with no access to wifi, twenty-first century sanitation or even Café Nero. But, it has to be said there are definitely some little things he choses to leave out so he looks better for the cameras. So here are a few Bear-isms translated for sceptics like you and me!

 

Bear: “I’m just going to light this fire so the helicopter can find us!”

Translations: “While I mess around in this long grass talking about kindling the cameraman is going to broadcast our GPS position…”

 

Bear: “Luckily we’ve stumbled across this fresh dear carcass”

Translation: “Here’s the deer we found earlier and carried up the mountain so I could sleep in it.”

 

Bear: “If you find yourself stranded without a hat, cutting off your sleeve is an excellent alternative.”

Translation: “I didn’t bring one so I could make this hat that looks like a condom.”

 

Bear: “It’s difficult trying to keep your direction amongst all this scrub!”

Translation: “I’m so glad Google maps still works in the bush”

 

Bear: “We’re gonna have to live off the land as well”

Translation: “After a hearty meal of live insects, I’ll probably have that Bombay bad boy pot noodle I left in the truck.”6001348438_8577f3cf09_z

 

Bear: “You know the best way to get rid of smell…mud.”

Translation: “But antibacterial gel, rose water soap and anti-ageing moisturiser will work just as well.”

 

Bear: “There’s always a reliable source of food under the ground… worms”

Translation: “But the tracker bar you have in your back pocket is probably nice and melty by now so just have that”large

 

Bear: “Scorpion is a great source of protein in the wilderness.”

Translation: “I’m so fed up of eating scorpions for your entertainment, you people are sick.”

 

 

But no matter how much of it you or I believe. There’s no denying it, Bear makes great TV. So just keep doing what you’re doing Bear and me and my cup of tea will keep watching!

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