Apps I Wish I Could Make

App making seems like a really good career to me. You get up when you feel like it, have a cup of coffee, maybe two. Read the paper for a little while, watch some comedy central, eat a bowl of cereal or perhaps porridge then make an app. It’s that simple! Isn’t it?

Well… no actually. First of all you need to be a talented software engineer before you can even think about making your own new and exciting application. Trust me, I’ve looked into “DIY app design” software online and it’s not that great. Sure you can create your own guidebook, or business card for a small fee and upload it to the inter-web, but no one wants that.

You also need to be able to publicise it and pay the fees to have your app hosted on iTunes, Android or Google Play. Now I think I could handle that. I’ve done enough digital marketing to know that I could get an app off the ground if it was a really good idea.

That’s the other thing – the app has to be a really, really…really good one to make any money. Clash of Clans or Candy Crush might seem useless but they make a fair bit of cash. When it comes to the ideas I do have quite a few, I’ve not shared them with anyone before so this post is really a test of how good any of these ideas actually are.

So if you are a talented software engineer who likes one these ideas and thinks they could make them, I’d love to go into business with you. Seriously, let me know…


Idea Number One:

toiletpaper-562x464Toilet Wars: Log your bowel movements including pictures – share the results with your friends and vote on a daily winner.

Now I know this is a little crude, I will be the first one to admit it. But it is something me and my friends would download. Yes, it’s disgusting and juvenile but at the end of the day, it’s funny. It’s obviously a social app, we will need to have the ability to post images – with hashtags – and include a comments section. I was also thinking a “flush up” and “flush down” icon instead of thumbs up and thumbs down. Just to keep the theme on track. We wouldn’t want anyone sharing selfies on here, god forbid.


Idea Number Two:

momFB1-copyFamilyBook: It’s essentially Facebook but just for your family.

We’ve all had to make the decision of whether or not to let your mum or dad or weird aunt add you on Facebook. But what if you didn’t have to? What if there was an app where you could cultivate family community. A place to share photos, thoughts, activities and more! Enter FamilyBook! In my head you wouldn’t be able to be tagged in anything on here, but that’s okay because you’d only have one shared profile! My mum and dad could add photos to a family photo album on our shared profile. I could post selfies on holiday so they know what I’m up to, even pictures of my work so they know they raised a good boy. And without any of my pesky friends on the profile I’d have no fear of a phone call from my dad to ask about the picture of me asleep with my head in a bucket at a party. I’d really like to avoid that conversation.


Idea Number Three:

Find-My-FriendsHide From My Friends: It’s an extension for Find my Friends that hides you

I loved find my friends when it was a thing, it was crazy useful for seeing if my flatmates were at home or in the library working. This was something I always needed to know. But if I could see them they could see me… Now I’m a sneaky dude so I like to remain mysterious, hence my need for Hide form my Friends. Basically you can set your location to anywhere you like; strip club, the moon, running, at home, whatever you feel like that day. Finally I would be able to look cool in front of my mates by hanging out on the moon all day, that’ll show them.


Idea Number Four:

keep-calm-and-dont-call-me-73No Call List: Put all the people you shouldn’t contact in this app and when you try to the app will ask if you’re sure

This could be used for ex girlfriends, your boss, that pizza place that you know tastes like hot dirt. Ideally we would include a simple maths question or puzzle along with the app asking you if your sure, this would be a safety feature against drunk dialling. (I have now been informed that I did not come up with this and that it was in the movie “The Internship”. BUT I haven’t seen that movie so I still feel like it’s my idea, don’t you hate it when that happens?)


So there you have it, some apps I wish I could make. I like to think that these are truly million dollar ideas so I officially copy write them as mine (is that how is works? If I just announce they’re mine then they are? I hope so…). If you agree with me that they could work and you could actually design them, please get in contact I’d love to start the next big thing on the app scene with you.


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