Every year when “fall” rolls around my 8tracks and Twitter fill up with the world of “Pumpkin Spiced”. That delicious smell, taste and experience that people just LOVE to chat about over a warming Starbucks while they wait for the beautiful white blanket of winter to come a calling. Well, that seems to be the case everywhere else anyway. In Scotland I’ve never come across this phenomenon in person, we don’t have Pumpkin Spiced playlists and coffees to get us through the Autumnal months. Nothing of the sort, in fact, I’m not all that certain we have Autumnal months the way Americans seem to.
Television and movies have taught be about the wonders of the foliage this time of year but no one seems to care about that here. When I wake up on what the fall romantic would call a “blustery October morning” and what I would call “the biting winds of hell” I see no news reports of people heading to the country to “check out the leaves”. We don’t need to head out, we have leaves in the city and they are everywhere! No matter how sodden they still manage to flutter around in the wind sticking to my jackets and making my Vans feel all wet and squishy.
And then theres the joy of fall weather. Oh my god it’s so beautiful! It’s crisp and somehow warm at the same time, I can enjoy my walk to work and stare around at this amazing world around me!
No. This does not happen in Scotland. To me Autumn weather is just confusing!
In the past week I have walked to university in a t-shirt, a north face waterproof, a knitted jumper, and a wooly hat. All on separate occasions as well I might add. And the rain! Downpours so heavy that you think a bath would have been dryer, and then when you do get home you have to perform a superhuman leap across the body of water that has sprung up around your street drains because that “lovely fall foliage” has blocked the effing thing!
So what I want to know is where does all this pumpkin spiced joy come from? What is it about the confusing weather patterns and annoying tree droppings that get you so excited? Is it really that your coffee is being flavoured by a vegetable whose primary use is decorative once a year? Would you be so gushy and excited if it was a “jacko lantern” coffee? Somehow I doubt it.
So come on guys get on board, fall is the worst, Scotland is a Pumpkin Spiced wasteland of chapped lips, cold toes and the only thing that makes it better is tea. Life giving, glorious, delicious tea. So you can keep your pumpkin spiced season, give me a cup of tea and double glazing and I’ll weather the storm of “fall” until winter finally comes.